I've been stationed here for a majority of the time since getting back to this area. I sleep in the van in Philly or West Chester when hanging out or otherwise convenient - but this is my home base. I'm in the big house while I'm typing this on a laptop that was purchased for me out of the blue. The picture was taken with a digital camera from the same blue. I spend plenty of time in the big house. The parking spot is where I sit for really long periods of time letting my thoughts run amok. I also sleep in the van. I have a paralyzing inability to decide or even picture what to do next. This feels like a possible step in the wrong direction, but I can't express exactly why. Everything is super easy for me still, but I have a nagging feeling that I need to go do something else. Part of this is a built in resentment that I have for getting everything handed to me. I would even call it guilt. But I'm not really resisting the comforts of home (the big house). Why should I feel guilty for having a 24/7 bathroom and shower right next door? And expensive electronics that fall from the sky? I have a really crazy inability to figure out my own feelings sometimes. This, compounded with lots of drinking. Also other personal issues that I can't figure out, like girls. I'd love to just blame all this on something easy. But my brain can't fool itself when something is afoot.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Next to the big house
I'm getting super complacent back in Pennsylvania. I think my mind was healthier in Key West. I know it was. I'm parked in the driveway at my parents house. Here's what that looks like:
I've been stationed here for a majority of the time since getting back to this area. I sleep in the van in Philly or West Chester when hanging out or otherwise convenient - but this is my home base. I'm in the big house while I'm typing this on a laptop that was purchased for me out of the blue. The picture was taken with a digital camera from the same blue. I spend plenty of time in the big house. The parking spot is where I sit for really long periods of time letting my thoughts run amok. I also sleep in the van. I have a paralyzing inability to decide or even picture what to do next. This feels like a possible step in the wrong direction, but I can't express exactly why. Everything is super easy for me still, but I have a nagging feeling that I need to go do something else. Part of this is a built in resentment that I have for getting everything handed to me. I would even call it guilt. But I'm not really resisting the comforts of home (the big house). Why should I feel guilty for having a 24/7 bathroom and shower right next door? And expensive electronics that fall from the sky? I have a really crazy inability to figure out my own feelings sometimes. This, compounded with lots of drinking. Also other personal issues that I can't figure out, like girls. I'd love to just blame all this on something easy. But my brain can't fool itself when something is afoot.
I've been stationed here for a majority of the time since getting back to this area. I sleep in the van in Philly or West Chester when hanging out or otherwise convenient - but this is my home base. I'm in the big house while I'm typing this on a laptop that was purchased for me out of the blue. The picture was taken with a digital camera from the same blue. I spend plenty of time in the big house. The parking spot is where I sit for really long periods of time letting my thoughts run amok. I also sleep in the van. I have a paralyzing inability to decide or even picture what to do next. This feels like a possible step in the wrong direction, but I can't express exactly why. Everything is super easy for me still, but I have a nagging feeling that I need to go do something else. Part of this is a built in resentment that I have for getting everything handed to me. I would even call it guilt. But I'm not really resisting the comforts of home (the big house). Why should I feel guilty for having a 24/7 bathroom and shower right next door? And expensive electronics that fall from the sky? I have a really crazy inability to figure out my own feelings sometimes. This, compounded with lots of drinking. Also other personal issues that I can't figure out, like girls. I'd love to just blame all this on something easy. But my brain can't fool itself when something is afoot.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Maybe you'd feel better if you shared that blue wealth with other van dwellers. :)
No, seriously, I know how you feel. I bet if you just drive away a litte - like, drive for a day and then stop wherever you are - the next thing will come to you.
- Tara/HoboStripper
haha i know what you're sayin man. I'm a Canadian living in Korea for a few more months, then i'm buying a van and driving south, picking up my friend/lead singer in Ohio, and starting a rock band in New Orleans. Definitely gonna be living in that van on zero money and busking for food! I savour the fact that even my friends think i'm nuts, but you can see the lust in their eyes when you talk about it.
The worst time has passed”However, it is true that there are more improvements than before...because of the rising numbers of people living with HIV in the state of Nevada. How could they stigmatize all of them? Therefore everything becomes a little easier and we start to share everything... We also started to invite and visit each other in a community. You know, it is six years since I started taking antiretroviral drugs...Yet whatever problems I face, the worst time has passedWhen I was evicted from the family home by my mother, my father rented a small room for me. But my mother and brothers believed that having HIV was my own fault – and that I deserved to be punished...I also considered myself unworthy and without hope... But I have a child and eventually I convinced myself to live for my child’s sake.
My mother knew nothing [about HIV]. She didn’t understand anything. Do you know why? She didn’t have [the chance] to go out of the house and communicate with society. However, my father does interact with the community. I know his friends are mature and dignified africa america. So he has a better understanding than her.My father came call me on a sadfull day sitting on my couch about a friend of his from africa who introduce him to Dr Itua herbal cure in africa in which he advise we should purchase his herbal medicine to cure my hiv so we did and Dr Itua prescribed I should drink the herbal medicine for two weeks to cure although we were so curious about the whole thing ,I finished the herbal medicine like he advised then he talked to me to visit my nearest clinic for check up I did and now I'm totally cured from Hiv my father was my rock and I and my family are now happy together also Dr Itua has be helpful in my community ever since he cure my Hiv so why I'm leaving my story on here today is to reach out someone out here to hope on God and never give up no matter the situation you that you are facing especially through this pandemic seasons which has really taught us all on how we should be helpful to each other and cherish one another.Dr Itua cures the following diseases..... Herpes,Liver cancer,Throat cancerLeukemia.,Alzheimer's disease,Chronic Diarrhea,Copd,Parkinson,Als,Adrenocortical carcinoma Infectious mononucleosis.
Intestinal cancer,Uterine cancer,Fibroid,Bladder cancer,Hiv,Esophageal cancer,Gallbladder cancer,Kidney cancer,Hpv,Lung cancer,Melanoma,Mesothelioma,Multiple myeloma,Oral cancer,Sinus cancer,Hepatitis A,B/C,Skin cancer,Soft tissue sarcoma,Spinal cancer,Stomach cancer,Vaginal cancer,Vulvar cancer,
Testicular cancer,Thyroid Cancer.You can contact Dr Itua Herbal Center on E-Mail: drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com Or Whats-App Chat : +2348149277967
Post a Comment